


the destruction of small ideas

by circus lights (dividedheart)



Series: i found love where it wasn't supposed to be [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Incest, M/M, dub-con, nonconsensual sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 02:23:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5273009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dividedheart/pseuds/circus%20lights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akiteru loves his baby brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. silent running (there's a moon in your sky)

**Author's Note:**

> You can read this first chapter without reading the second, which will contain some heavy stuff, which will be posted at a later date.

Akiteru loves his baby brother.

It is there in his grin, in the pride and the joy he feels when Kei laughs and smiles with him, when he bites his lower lip in concentration as he scribbles down answers for his homework, when he screws up his face into a pout when Akiteru teases him and when he scolds him to finish his vegetables. 

It is always there, because Akiteru loves Kei like no other, even when he kicks his feet and refuses to give up on something, even when he leaves plates with food caked onto them in the sink, and especially when he slams his door shut and shouts and then proceeds to ignore everybody else in the house for days. As much as he is a trouble, he is a joy. 

There are times when Akiteru wishes he didn't love his brother.

These are the times when Kei has a towel wrapped around his middle and he doesn't realize he's grown too tall for it to be considered decent. It's when he walks in on Kei half-naked because he sat down and started reading before getting dressed properly; it's when Akiteru presses his ear to Kei's door after hearing a suspicious bump in the night and hears the sound of slick flesh and breathy sighs. 

Akiteru thinks, sometimes, that he loves his brother too much, that it is abnormal and that he is not a good brother anymore, not in how he lies about the highs in his life and how the tick of the clock calls to attention the fact that he keeps lying, even when he knows what will happen, and how he keeps watching, even when he knows he shouldn't.

When he catches Kei's eye across the court, he knows that time has come to pass. 

Kei no longer smiles at Akiteru and he grows up, then and there. There is less of the bad but there is none of the good. There is no bump in the night for Akiteru to worry over, and no boogeyman for him to chase away. The door no longer slams in his face when they fight, and it no longer needs to: Kei shuts him out with nothing more than the chill of his shoulder.

He is no longer the older brother that Kei had been so proud of for so long. He thinks it is for the best until his love for his brother builds and builds and it festers like a wound not on his chest, but inside of it.

Kei carries the same pain, but he instead bottles up a hate that hurts him far more than it hurts Akiteru. His wound festers in an attitude that is lax and pessimistic, in a manner that is not carefree but rather uncaring, doing just enough but not any more than that. It clots and scars in the worst of ways, killing passion and feeding a self-loathing that is worse than any hurt his big brother could inflict on him.

Akiteru thinks the bubble inside of him is going to pop. It must, in one of them, eventually. 

But it never does.

Their life living together ends and Akiteru remembers the smiles between them, the jokes, the fun blanket-forts and family tooth-brushing sessions, the pots of nabe that they'd fought over, the dirty laundry and the times he'd pressed his ear against the wall separating their rooms and hated himself.

College is a beast that he wants to fight but knows he can't, just as Kei cannot fight high school nor the loneliness that not even he realizes has begun to infest his heart. So he leaves and the door to his past and his home shuts and he hears no word of farewell from his sweet baby brother, and although Akiteru cannot blame him for it and never will it still hurts when he has to carry his bags to his car by himself.

He'd lost his ally in the war against their parents, lost the voice of reason and the voice of mockery that would follow him when he did something stupid. Akiteru suffers through college because it is a necessity, and his brother cuts contact with him. There are phone messages he leaves, sometimes, but they are never returned.

While Kei grows, Akiteru regresses: and the bubble never pops, because Akiteru is not given a chance.


	2. rantaloupe (unmake the wild light)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akiteru wishes he didn't love his little brother, sometimes. This is one of those times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't like incest or have had bad experiences with it or victim blaming, I'd advise you to back out now. 
> 
> Otherwise: enjoy my public sinning, while keeping in mind that I'm the only one who edited this. There's probably a good couple mistakes in there, other than the nasty premise. 
> 
> Chapter & work title derived from 65daysofstatic.
> 
> ###  [Tumblr](http://smallideas.tumblr.com/)

Akiteru drinks. 

It's not because he's trying to wash away the pain with alcohol, as that does little to smother his emotions, but rather because it's an obligation that comes with being an adult and having to work. His friends take him from bar to bar, and he sings a bit, though it's bad and he gets laughed at. _Karaoke has never been my specialty, alright?_ he hiccups. 

Getting home that night is a whopping eleven point zero on the failure scale. He stumbles here and there and it doesn't take long for him to get fed up with the swish and sway of the ground he is sure to meet with before he calls a cab home, giving up on finding a friend to go home with. 

Other than walking, the only part he struggles with is counting out the right amount of bills to give to the driver, but he's not incoherent as a drunk, he's just emotional and a little light on his feet. He almost cries as he counts out the coins. It's just a sensory overload. He's not _that_ drunk.

Akiteru has never been one for stealth, though he's sure he's prevailed at other times. Other very sober times, probably. He's kind of noisy when he unlocks the door and takes off his shoes, but that's okay because the bedrooms are upstairs and his parents are out. 

Out where? Akiteru spends a total of two minutes standing in the dark hallway trying to remember before he breathes out _ooooohh, right_ and giggles. They're out at a social. And then a hotel, because they have two children at home. Akiteru's face feels a degree warmer.

He stumbles into the wall as he tries to get to the kitchen, and then he's staring at the floor, which just happens to look remarkably inviting. At the same time, the absolute last thing he wants to do is have Kei find him in the morning in a pool of vomit (he doesn't think he's going to throw up, but he might, a very scary possibility). He's sure he'd rather die than have someone already disappointed with him see him drunk and stumbling.

God, it's so dark. Who let it be so dark in the hallway? The moon isn't out tonight, hasn't been for a while, there's too many clouds. Akiteru wishes he could teleport right now, and then he could find his bed and fall into it with relative ease. 

Eventually he tires of trying to find the kitchen or the light switch, and he slumps against the wall and slides down. The lights flicker on about a second later, and he hears the soft padding of clothed feet. 

Kei is light on his feet, always has been, used to sneak up on Akiteru when he was little and his big brother was studying or reading. He'd jump up behind him and scare him. The thought of miserable little Kei doing that now is completely ridiculous, and Akiteru fails to smother his giggles. 

Kei comes down the stairs like he's floating. He doesn't make a noise and Akiteru looks up, mildly surprised to see him standing in front of him. His hair is a mess and he's not wearing much more than an over sized t-shirt and his boxers. Akiteru smiles when he sees the socks on his feet. It's cute.

"Brother?" Kei asks. He sounds upset.

"Sorry, thought I'd park here," Akiteru answers, pushing himself onto unsteady feet. He starts to sway a bit, and Kei grabs his arm. 

"You're drunk," his grip tightens. "Why would you bother coming home like this?"

"You don't want to see me?" Akiteru pouts. Kei's expression looks difficult to make, pinched in concern like that. It makes Akiteru's stomach do flip-flops. "I'm sorry. Your big brother shouldn't be such a pain. Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah, you did," Kei grumbles, irritated. "Are you going to vomit?"

"What?" Akiteru feels scandalized, and it's so sudden that he actually feels angry. "No. Do you think I'm that wasted?" He raises his voice, and then regrets it when he sees Kei's shoulders tense up. But he's tougher than that.

"I do, because you _are_. Come on," He says, and then Akiteru is being pulled along and there is the kitchen, he knew it was around here somewhere. Kei sits him down at the table and then he walks over to the cupboard, pulling something out. Akiteru loses track of what he's doing and he puts his head down on the table, registering little.

The clink of a glass startles him enough that he looks up, and he's presented with cold water. Kei turns around again before Akiteru can thank him for it, so he just mumbles it to his back. He wants to know what Kei is doing, he can see him making something, but he can't tell what it is and so he gets up and shuffles closer and closer until he's not just leaning over Kei's shoulder, but is wrapping his arms around his middle, too. 

Kei stiffens. "What are you doing?"

"No, what are _you_ doing?" Akiteru huffs, resting his chin on Kei's shoulder and looking down. Kei is so warm and his skin is so pleasantly soft that he forgets to inspect, but then he does and he looks down and he sees his little brother is buttering two pieces of toast. "Oh," Akiteru mumbles.

"You're an idiot like this," Kei says, and he sounds upset, why does he sound so upset? "I really hate it. Go sit back down already," He demands, but there's a telltale whine to it that is all too familiar. 

"You're so sweet," Akiteru says, sniffing. "Oh, brother. You're so sweet," He breathes, hugging Kei tighter, burying his face in his shoulder. It's a good enough excuse to breathe in his scent, to hold him like this, like he used to. Akiteru feels a swell of emotions in his chest and he knows he can't let go of Kei now, just presses him closer and sighs. 

"Gross, brother. Hey," Kei is trying to get his attention. "Let go. Stop. You're squeezing too much," He mumbles, but Akiteru hardly even registers the fact that he's talking until Kei is actually turning around and prying his hands away. Akiteru opens his mouth to complain and gets a piece of toast shoved into it, and he shamefully stumbles back to the table and sits down, munching all the while.

Kei sets the plate down in front of him, and Akiteru wonders if he'll sit down, too, he hopes he does, he loves his little brother, but he just turns around and takes to cleaning up. Akiteru watches, fascinated, as Kei puts dishes away and washes whatever is in the sink. He's getting around to wiping down the counters when Akiteru finishes his toast and his water and walks behind him. 

"Boo," He laughs, hands squeezing Kei's middle, inciting an indignant shout. "When did my little brother grow up, hmm?" He asks, chin returning to its spot on Kei's shoulder.

"You didn't notice? I thought I was pretty tall even back then," He says, hands pulling at Akiteru's. "You're so touchy. Learn some personal space already," He mutters, ill-tempered. 

"You used to hate doin' dishes," Akiteru says, and he slurs a bit, can't help it now. "You'd leave them everywhere. I complained lots 'n lots bout cleaning up after you..." He pauses, enjoying the feeling of Kei's chest rising and falling underneath his arms. "Pissed me off. But I didn't really mind it," He adds.

"Somebody has to... ah, hey, stop it!" Akiteru squeezes Kei's middle, feels his stomach and can't stop feeling it because when did Kei lose his baby fat? "You're getting sentimental because you're drunk," Kei groans, and then his annoying, prying little hands get a bit more forceful in their attempts to pull Akiteru's hands away. "You're grossing me out."

"Cause I love you?" He asks. 

Kei is quiet.

"No. Because you stink like sake," He bites, and tries turning around again. Akiteru just hugs him harder and he can practically hear him rolling his eyes. " _Seriously?_ Can we just get you to bed now, please?"

"M'kay. But you're coming with me," Akiteru says, rubbing his nose against Kei's neck, indulging in the shudder that runs through his body. "Okay?"

"Fine, just let go," Kei mutters. 

"When did you get so skinny?" Akiteru asks instead, not quite ready to let go, flattening his hand against the smooth plane of Kei's stomach. He's so small in his arms. Even though he's taller, older and louder he's still so small. "Mom needs to feed you more, I think," He hums, patting Kei's middle.

Kei doesn't like that at all; he grows taut, and then suddenly there's just silence between the two of them and Kei stops squirming. Akiteru feels like he's swallowed something bitter, like he's touched a sore spot. "Hey... you know, it's not bad, right? You're still my cute brother..." 

"Don't whisper like that," Kei bites. "It's fine, just..."

"Huh? Oh," Akiteru huffs, and then he blows in Kei's ear, giggling when Kei squirms. "That bugs you? Sorry!" He blurts, but continues to laugh, blowing cold gusts of breath against Kei's neck. "Aw, haha. It's no secret that you're my cute brother," He murmurs, fondness pooling low in his gut. "I bet girls like you lots. You're tall, and..."

"Stop!" Kei jerks, turning around and shoving at Akiteru's shoulders. It's so sudden that Akiteru really doesn't know how to respond, and it's too late for that because Kei is stepping past him. That's all it takes for Akiteru to snap to action, and he whips around and grabs Kei by his wrist, yanking him backward. He underestimates his strength, though, and Kei stumbles into his grip with a gasp. 

"Sorry," He babbles, holding Kei by the wrists, and they're finally facing each other but this isn't how he wanted it to go. "I didn't mean to, I -"

"Let go!" Kei says, and now that Akiteru can see his face, he sees red ears, red cheeks, and wet eyes. "You're so drunk, I ca-"

And the bubble pops.

Akiteru can't think back and remember when this all started. It could have been yesterday, could have been the first time he'd stumbled in on his sibling undressing, any of those times. It wouldn't have mattered, had Akiteru kept himself in check. 

There's a swell of noise from somewhere inside of himself, Akiteru thinks; but he can't recognize where from. All he can think to do is move, and he does. He shoves Kei back with one, two, three steps, slamming his wrists against the wall before pressing his lips against his.

His adorable little brother.

There is a moment in which he is so sure that he is going to be slapped, but it passes and then he melts against Kei because this is all he's ever wanted, this; this feeling, this explosive feeling of warmth, this heat between the two of them. And it's perfect, at least until there are hands bunched up in his shirt, hands he once imagined fisting sheets underneath him, but this time they're real and they're pushing him away, not closer. 

He releases Kei's lips with a wet smack, smiling faintly. He's gotten so hard so quickly he thinks his face must be pale. Kei's is, at least; pale and glistening wet with tears.

"Akiteru," He whimpers, and he sounds so scared and so sad. Akiteru has never heard him sound so vulnerable. "This... you're drunk," He looks away, releasing his shirt, and Akiteru sees the way he bares his throat, thinks it is for him.

"I love you," He says, and it feels so good to say that, guesses there must have been some kind of misunderstanding between them, that all he needs to do is prove Kei wrong. "I love you. I always have," He says, and he leans in and presses feather-light kisses against Kei's neck, whispering all the while. He doesn't remember when he grabbed Kei's wrists again, or why he's pinning them against his side, but he does know that Kei has to know this. "I love you, love you, love you so much, Kei, _Kei_ -" 

"This is wrong," Kei says, shaking free from his grip, and Akiteru pulls him into a hug and he hiccups, his precious brother sobs and hiccups and Akiteru is there for him, pulling back and wiping away his tears with his thumbs before kissing his cheeks. "Stop, stop. You need to stop," Kei says all the while. "I don't want to hear-"

"I've loved you like this for so long. It's been unbearable, Kei. And I just," He feels like now is the time, and so he breathes in and then out, slowly, pushing back Kei's bangs as he does. His eyes shine in the dim light of the kitchen and Akiteru thinks he is beautiful. "I can't handle it anymore. I need you," He shakes. "I know you've hated me since I lied to you back then, and I-"

"I've never hated you," Kei blurts. "Not you. Never. But this is..." 

"This is just me," Akiteru says, desperate. He leans into Kei's shoulder, kissing him there, trying to smother the heat that makes his blood boil when Kei shivers against him. "It's not your fault..."

"You - ah!" Kei gasps when Akiteru licks against his neck, kissing it, sucking against his pulse point. " _Oh_ ," He murmurs faintly, weakening.

"They won't come home, if that's what you're worried about," Akiteru giggles against his skin. "They're out for good. They're doing what adults do. Come on," He urges. "Let's go upstairs."

Kei actually listens to him.

He is the one that leads him upstairs. They hold hands, and Akiteru squeezes tight, makes sure not to let go. He's not sure if this is a dream or not, but there's a voice inside of himself that tells him to stop, because this is reality and if he takes one step further, there is no going back.

But he can't stop now.

They go to Akiteru's room, and Kei pulls him forward and sits him down. Akiteru is grabby, tugging at Kei's shirt and then reaching for his hand instead when he doesn't obey and stays standing. There is a tight sort of silence hanging between them and Akiteru does not like it one bit. Kei just stares down at him, and then he takes a step back, and then another, heading for the door. Akiteru does not like that one bit, either, so he surges forward and forgets about being patient. 

Kei goes down hard on his bed and he's squirming, uncomfortable and unsure but so beautiful, even in that. Akiteru can't help the smile that tugs at the edges of his lips, and he pulls up Kei's shirt so that just a hint of his bare midriff shows. Akiteru grins and grins and Kei fusses underneath him.

"I've waited for this," He breathes, and he's so hard it hurts and he wants Kei to know so he shifts closer, close enough that Kei stops wriggling. "God, you're adorable," He murmurs, leaning down to kiss Kei's cute stomach. 

Kei lets him. He hasn't said anything yet, and a thought occurs to Akiteru. He sits up a bit, squinting down at his brother, who is absolutely refusing to look at him.

"Have you done these sorts of things before?" Akiteru cannot keep the edge from his voice. Kei's head snaps around and he stares, eyes blank and wide. "Well? Have you? Has anyone ever touched you before?"

"No," Kei croaks out, face growing more red by the second. "N-no. I've never..."

"Is that true?" Akiteru interjects, heatedly. They stare at each other, Akiteru more passionate than he felt he's ever been, while Kei can do little else other than shiver and fight not to look away.

Akiteru nods, just once. "Okay, I believe you. Don't be scared. It'll be nice," He says, and he believes it, believes it even when he leans in for a kiss and Kei jerks his head away: but he's a virgin, so it's okay.

Akiteru is gentle, because he doesn't want to scare Kei, so he just uses force to turn his cheek back to face him and kisses Kei the way he's always dreamed of, sucking on his bottom lip and slipping his tongue inside his mouth. It is perfect. Kei doesn't respond well, as immature as he is, but his lips are soft and his mouth is hot and Akiteru would be damned if he's ever felt a sensation better than this.

He needs more of it.

Akiteru pulls away with a smile, feeling red, red, red. "I'll teach you how to do these things properly," He says, and Kei's breath stills in his chest for a second before he covers up his mouth with his hand. 

"That's..." Kei's voice is muffled, he's clearly embarrassed, and god does that make Akiteru's heart thud in his chest. "We shouldn't," He tries.

"Aren't you feeling good?" Akiteru asks, tilting his head. 

"You can't ask me that!" Kei says, growing angry, giving Akiteru's arm a slap. "This is bad. Please think a bit more."

"I'll make it good," Akiteru excuses, with an edge of finality to it. He doesn't like the formal tone to Kei's voice. They're brothers, after all.

He picks at the edges of Kei's shirt, peeling it away from his chest. All Kei is wearing is this and his boxers, they're too big for him, and Akiteru would never think to call the combination cute if it were anyone else, but this is his brother and it's amazing. Kei's face is red, and his eyes keep flicking away, like he doesn't want to see his brother look at his body like he's never seen anything better. The sight makes Akiteru feel light-headed. 

"We'll start here," He says, leaning down and pressing his lips against Kei's navel, trailing feather-light kisses up to his chest. Akiteru takes a look at Kei as he places his mouth around one nipple, more gentle than he's ever been. He sucks slowly, feeling it grow hard in his mouth, applying more force as Kei sighs. He laps at it with his tongue, delighting in the desperate little noise Kei makes.

"A-ah, stop, th-" Kei's hands grab at Akiteru's face, tugging at his hair and pinching his ear. " _Stop_ ," He whines.

Akiteru doesn't stop. He continues to lap at Kei's chest, tugging on the pert bud with his teeth, applying enough pressure to feel good, but not to hurt. It's not long before Kei is panting and whining, and only then does Akiteru pull away, surveying his work. Kei's nipple is bright red; it'll be sore, later. He's sure of it.

Kei's head is turned away, like he can't stand the sight and the sensations combined. Akiteru presses bruising kisses down his neck and reaches his shirt, hiked up around his shoulders, and sighs in annoyance. He tugs at Kei's arms, and he seems to get the message because he lifts them up and allows Akiteru to pull the shirt off entirely. He throws it somewhere behind them; it doesn't matter. 

Akiteru returns to Kei's neck, this time focusing on using his tongue. He licks down to Kei's collarbone and then bites there, one hand sliding up Kei's thigh at the same time; he hears Kei's breath hitch when he passes over the tent in his boxers, and he fidgets in discomfort until Akiteru's fingers find their spot back on his chest. 

"No," Kei whimpers, like he isn't enjoying this, like it doesn't feel good to be played with. 

"Too much? I'm going slow, aren't I?" Akiteru's voice is probably just as breathy, excited in a different way. He thumbs over Kei's abused nipple, pinching it and tugging at it. Kei makes this noise - it's high, and so, so sweet. He slaps a hand over his mouth, his eyes meeting Akiteru's. He looks horrified. 

"Told you." Akiteru giggles, and then pulls away. 

Kei sits up as soon as he can, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. Akiteru smiles and sits down beside him instead of leaning over him and he pats his lap, teasing. Kei refuses to meet his eyes, but he's a good, obedient kid when he's like this, so he sits in Akiteru's lap and lets him pose him however he likes. Legs spread, ass pressed against Akiteru's hardness, arms at his side. 

It's better than any half-baked fantasies Akiteru could have ever dreamed up. 

The only disconcerting part is the way Kei shivers, like he's cold and can't warm up fast enough. Akiteru remedies this and pulls Kei flush against him, rubbing his arms, back to front. The friction against his clothed dick isn't uncomfortable, it just isn't enough. But this isn't about him. 

It's about Kei. 

He returns to lathering Kei in kisses, both hands free to grope across his chest and touch him wherever he pleases. This time he decides to take to rubbing up and down Kei's sides, scratching with his nails ever so slightly, watching the gooseflesh raise on his arms. Akiteru bites at his earlobe, sucking softly, groping his chest. Kei keeps huffing, sighing almost, like he's biting his tongue to keep from making any noise. 

It's not enough for Akiteru.

He slides his hand down Kei's front, taking a second to enjoy the feeling of his warm, soft skin before he reaches the waistband of his boxers. Kei stops breathing; Akiteru feels him go rigid, like he's holding his breath. Akiteru reaches further down, palming Kei's cock through his loose boxers. Kei jerks forward unintentionally with a short, cut off whine that honest to god drives Akiteru crazy. 

"Don't hold your voice in. I want to hear you," Akiteru makes sure to whisper, pitches his voice just a bit lower, right beside Kei's ear, remembers how it'd made his last girlfriend squirm. "Come on. No one is home. You can be as loud as you like, you know? I'm sure you're loud when you jerk off, right?" Akiteru kisses him on his pulse point, hands stroking him through the thin material of his briefs. There's no denying that he's feeling good: he's hard and leaking, probably smearing the inside of his boxers. 

"Feel good?" He whispers, teasing. "It's different when it's someone else, isn't it?"

"Ah!" Kei whimpers. "I-it's not, this isn't any good, you--"

Akiteru's heart beat thuds in his ears as he shuts Kei up with a forceful kiss, but at the same time he feels almost angry, because this is something but it is not enough. Kei doesn't even try rejecting his kiss this time, so Akiteru continues groping him with one hand. He pulls away and prods at Kei's lips, seeking entrance. 

It only takes him a second to realize what Akiteru wants, and he jerks his head to the side to escape him, but Akiteru isn't having it; he follows his movement and continues to stroke his lower lip. The second Kei opens his mouth to verbally reject him, he slides two fingers in, fumbling against his tongue. 

Kei gasps, breath hitching to a high, soft pitch. Akiteru's mouth drops open and he squeezes Kei's cock through his shorts and jerks his hips against the pliant softness of his ass. 

"Fuck, you're amazing," He groans, hips stuttering. "Kei, can I do you?"

Kei doesn't respond, instead murmuring something wordless against Akiteru's fingers. He very obviously fights not to make anymore noises and closes his mouth around Akiteru's digits, sucking needily. His tongue is hot and wet and Akiteru wonders how he'd feel around his cock. 

He pulls away from Kei's lips, shuddering when he feels Kei's teeth drag along the pads of his fingers. Almost urgently, he tugs at Kei's waistband, pulling insistently until he gets the message. Kei lifts his hips and then his boxers are off, flung half-way across the room. 

Akiteru rests his chin on Kei's shoulder and looks down, licking his lips with a hum. His little brother is straining against his belly and dripping wet. Akiteru takes a second to relish the moment in which Kei fidgets restlessly and then he takes him in his hand. Akiteru feels lightheaded when Kei moans, breathless and beautiful, and utterly adorable.

He tries a couple experimental pumps, pulling back the skin and groaning as it grows harder in his grip. Kei moans, loud and long, and Akiteru loses it, jerking him with quick, hard pumps. 

"Mmn, ah! Ah, no, st--" Kei struggles against him, trying to pull away, but Akiteru wraps an arm around his middle and holds him there. "I'm going to," He pants, desperate. "Ah! I'll..."

Then Akiteru pulls away. Kei is given a second to breathe and confusion surges through him, but the moment passes and before he can blink he is on his back, Akiteru above him, fumbling with his belt. He almost rips the zipper off his jeans as he jerks them downward, and Kei isn't given any time to protest before he's being held by his thighs and spread open. Kei can't stand to look at himself, so he jerks his head away from the sight, squeezing his eyes shut. 

"Press your thighs together," Akiteru urges, and Kei listens, compliant as always. "Yeah. _Perfect_. Ah, you're adorable." 

Akiteru takes a second to grapple with his own boxers, pulling his cock free with a sigh of relief. He spits in his palm, smiling impishly when Kei jerks in surprise; he pumps himself once, twice, and then slides himself in the slick, hot skin between Kei's thighs, pressing his cock against Kei's.

He withdraws, delighting in the shiver that runs through the body beneath him, and then he slams his hips forward. It feels good, so he doesn't hesitate in doing it again; and then again, and again, the force of their hips meeting making them rock back and forth on the bed. Kei cries out until his throat goes raw, tears staining his cheeks. 

The friction is too good, Kei's skin and heat feels amazing, and it's all so much that Akiteru truly believes that it can't get any better. Then he looks down, intent on watching his brother reach his peak, and he's proved wrong so quickly he's surprised he doesn't get whiplash. 

Kei's cheeks are flush and his chest is red, neck and collar bruised up and down where Akiteru had sucked at the soft skin. His mouth is open and he's drooling onto his chin, eyes screwed shut against the sight of himself. His hands are fisted in the sheets, nails scrabbling against them as he's slammed against the bed.

Akiteru leans back, pausing in his haste just long enough to take both their cocks in his hand. Kei wails at that, hips moving against his own will, and Akiteru continues with a soothing hum, fucking his thighs with an unrivaled enthusiasm. He's not going to last long, now, but he wants Kei to come first, so he pumps their dicks together and tenses his body up, waiting for it. 

"Ah, Kei, come on, fuck. You're so cute, come on--" He growls, voice guttural. 

Kei seems to freeze in place and then he is crying out, head flying back against the bed, back arching, toes curling. Akiteru is sure he's never seen someone so beautiful before, but he can hardly think right now he's so close, all he can hear is skin slapping against skin. Kei seems to slump, going slack in just seconds, and Akiteru pulls his thighs apart and jerks himself to completion, watches his semen coat his little brother's stomach and feels like he's on cloud nine.

They lay together, just for a minute. It's a minute in which Akiteru has never felt better, a minute in which he feels whole again, warm and sweaty but satisfied beyond belief.

That moment passes. 

Kei doesn't waste any time in rolling off the bed, grabbing his dirty clothes off the floor. Akiteru opens his mouth to call out to him; laying together afterward is an important part of sex, after all, but the door to his room slams with a finality he didn't think possible.

Akiteru's stomach sinks as reality sets in.

He continues laying in place, sweat chilling on his skin, clothes sticky and uncomfortable. Eventually he rolls over, sitting up, fixing himself back into his underwear. He pulls up his jeans and buckles his belt, and then he runs into the washroom and he throws up. 

There's nothing else he can think to do other than brush his teeth and go to bed, so he does just that, but not before he stops by Kei's washroom, leaning his head against the door. He can hear the shower running, and just underneath that, Kei's quiet sobbing. 

Akiteru wishes he'd never fallen so hard in love with someone he could never have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Debatable if I am willing to follow this up with the repercussions. Probably not?


End file.
